chauvinistsushi:

contraception:

the goal is to love myself so much it offends other people

image

(via joshpecksmom)

sofapizza:

your sheep looks concerned

dicketysplit:

when the screen goes dark and u see ur reflection

image

(via unsmokable)

grandmafupa:

Painfully average looking with a great sense of humor and always down to get drunk

(via kanyewesticle)

lindsaychrist:

woah

abigalmills:

im not crying there’s just overpriced college education in my eye

(Source: officialinquisitor, via oknope)

(Source: seinfeldia, via stability)

What girls say: I'm fine
What girls mean: I'm too embarrassed to ask for water from your mom because this is the first time I've been over and she's asked me like 500 times if I wanted any and I've been saying no but I'm dying of thirst

liamschesthair:

1 month until valentine’s day which means 1 month and 1 day until i buy 75% clearance chocolate for myself at target

(Source: jortsfan, via trust)

(Source: jacobpittslovelyface, via the-absolute-funniest-posts)